As I sit, slowly getting wasted.

(I wrote this about a week and a half ago. What's changed? Little: not waiting for phone calls, drinking vodka and cranberry juice, and listening to Manu Chao (marijuana - illegal!). Read on babies, and be enlightened about my life. You might find that you care. At least I hope you do.)

Alright kids, I figured that now would be the absolute best time to revamp this blog, especially since I'm just sitting here in my pyjamas, debating about taking a shower, impatiently waiting for at least 4 phone calls, drinking Diet Pepsi, and listening to Peter, Bjorn, and John.

Anyways, since many of you are new the Ignatius following, I thought I might re-start this blog with a little bit about me. Don't care about me? Fine. Go pound sand. I know that at least some of you might find this stuff interesting.

We'll start easy: I'm 24, born and (mostly) raised in East Troy, a one and three-quarter horse town outside of Milwaukee. I went to the University of Minnesota for 5 years, took 4 different foreign languages, went to France, and graduated almost a year ago with a degree in French Studies. I've been making coffee for 2 and a half years now, despite my studies, and I am quite frankly very happy about it.

Now we'll get into some more interesting issues. My passions in life include, but are certainly not limited to: food, wine (beer, liquor, bathtub gin, etc.), music, literature, the co-existence of self-improvement and self-destruction, grammar, ties, my heritage (both the one I know about and the one about which I know nothing), cars (mostly just my van and my old Mercedes-Benz), my job (I know, big dork), and last but not least, the pursuit of happiness through improbable dreams and outlandish fantasies.

Now I imagine that most of these things seem pretty innocuous, but I'm sure there are a few that piqued your interest. Right now, however, I only really feel like tackling that last one. I guess there's a lot of things I hide from people. One of them is that last bit about improbable dreams. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, and every time I do, I get even more confused that I was before I started. I've found that certain people have had a profound effect on me, especially lately, and this is a new sensation for me. I even find myself getting offended more often that usual. I found that strange because I always thought I had this thick skin, keeping all that bad stuff out (and even worse stuff in), but lately I'm much more susceptible to jealousy, anger, shame, and embarrassment. Honestly, I hate it. I always thought I was this pillar of strength for those around me, but now that I've started to show cracks in the plaster, I need to seriously consider fixing them. Don't get me wrong – I have a wonderful family and a great group of friends. Unfortunately, because I am incapable of being completely honest with anybody, those cracks in the plaster are usually hidden or hard to reach. Some stuff gets patched up, but other things are allowed to get worse and worse, and until I am honest with myself and those around me, the cracks are going to get bigger and more dangerous.